God Hath Not Promised . . . .

Below is one of my mother's favorite poems. I hadn't thought of it in a long time until a few weeks ago, as I was washing dishes one morning. 

Remembering it, and following along with the lyrics while I listened to the melody was a blessing to me, so I thought I'd pass it along for you to enjoy, too. 

God hath not promised skies always blue,

Flower-strewn pathways all our lives through;

God hath not promised sun without rain,

Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

God hath not promised we shall not know

Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;

He hath not told us we shall not bear

Many a burden, many a care.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,

Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;

Never a mountain, rocky and steep,

Never a river, turbid and deep.

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

The words have been put to music -- you can listen to it here:

https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/720

Meet AnnaMarie's Family

Unfortunately, they don't have a public blog (at least, not one they've listed on their RR profile page), but that profile page does give us a little information. I hope they will, at some point in the future, add a blog link.

"Meet" Ivey's Family -- and AnnaMarie has a family too!

Ivey's family is now listed on Reece's Rainbow -- you can "meet" them here.

And -- AnnaMarie's matching grant was more than met, and she has a family, too! (More details on that when they become available.)

Ivey Has a Family . . . and AnnaMarie Needs a Family

Ivey has a family coming for her! 

I don't know who her family is yet, but Ivey is on the "My Family Found Me" page over at Reece's Rainbow. At this point, you'll have to scroll down a bit to find her, as other children have been added to the top of the page since she was added.

In a nutshell, after a certain amount of paperwork has been completed (you can read about that here and here), a child can be "claimed," and he or she appears on the "My Family Found Me" page, though there is no information there about the adopting family.

After a bit more paperwork is completed, a brief biography of the adopting family appears on Reece's Rainbow's New Commitment Page. Sometimes the adopting family posts a link to their blog on their biographical post, sometimes not. When (and if) Ivey's family post a blog link, I'll share it.

And now -- Meet AnnaMarie . . . 

AnnaMarie has less than 3 months
 (until sometime in December)
 to have a family commit to adopt her. 

This does not mean the process must be completed by her 16th birthday, only that certain paper work must be filed with the US government before her birthday. Things do need to move as fast as possible, because there is a window of time after her birthday during which the process must be completed, or she becomes unavailable.

I don't have time right now to post a lot about her; I just wanted to get her picture and situation out here for people to see. However, Chelsea has written three posts about her: AnnaMarie,  College vs. Trade School, and Matching Grant.

She does have a $5,000 matching grant available to help cover the cost of her adoption; when it is met, approximately half of the cost of her adoption will be met. Travel (multiple international plane tickets, purchased on very short notice), in-country living (food, housing, facilitator fees, etc) is expensive, but who can put a "price tag" the value of a child! (By way of comparison, consider that Christ gave up everything for us.) As I understand it, the adopting family does not receive any of this money until they have been accepted by AnnaMarie's home country, and have an appointment with the appropriate government officials. The length of time between receiving the appointment and the actual appointment date is usually pretty short, which does not allow the time necessary to "shop" for really good ticket prices!

If you aren't in a position to adopt her, could you at least spread her story on whatever social media sites are available to you? Her time clock is ticking down fast . . . can someone please rescue this girl?

"When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:31-40

Ivey

Chelsea Pearce's "Do You Know the Difference Between an Orphan and a Potato Salad" post popped up on my Blogger Dashboard when I refreshed it earlier today, and the picture below immediately grabbed my attention.

This is Ivey. She is 12 or 13, depending on when her birthday is. (All I know is that she was born in 2001) Here is a link to another post about her. (You really should read this post -- Alexis has a lot more information about Ivey than I've posted here.)

Ivey

When I looked at her picture, my mind immediately went back to my friend, Marilyn Schmalz.

Marilyn

(You can read more about Marilyn here. When you get to the page, do a search for "Marilyn" and you'll find her. The above picture came from this website.)

Born in 1948, "LONG before rehab knew what to do with people like me," Marilyn was apparently higher functioning (physically) in the years before I knew her. By the time I met her in about 1985, she was more like Ivey than the way she describes herself in the linked article above -- except that she lived in the US, and had a lot of adaptive equipment to help her.

We were living in Alabama when we first met her through a mutual friend. She was a Senior Occupational Therapist at the "Independent Living Program at the Roosevelt Institute for Rehabilitation in Warm Springs, Georgia," about 50 miles from our home. We enjoyed her company in our home over many weekends, and, when we moved away, she drove herself the 200+ miles to our new home at least twice. 

Yes, you read that right -- she drove herself. Her van was specially equipped so she could use her mouth stick to help her drive it.

Looking at Ivey's picture, and remembering Marilyn, I see no reason why Ivey couldn't develop close the same level of functionality Marilyn had. She lived alone much of her adult life, with the assistance of personal care assistants who helped her several hours a day.

I wish I could talk to her now, and refer prospective adoptive families to her. Unfortunately, her life came to an end in 2003 or 2004. In talking to the friend who was with her when she died, I learned that, in attempting to roll over in bed one night, Marilyn apparently twisted part of her small intestines. By the time the doctors figured out (through surgery) what was causing her severe abdominal pain, the part of her intestines that had become twisted had died, gangrene had set in, and there was nothing they could do for her except to keep her comfortable for the last few hours of her life.

My oldest daughter, Pam (who graduates with a clinical doctorate in Physical Therapy on August 3, 2014) visited her in her adapted home in Columbus, GA (the one Marilyn refers to in the article linked to above). Pam and I were just reminiscing about her yesterday, and Pam was telling me how much she enjoyed visiting Marilyn in her home in the fall of 2000, and seeing all the "inventions" she'd come up with. She even had a brush rigged so she could brush her own hair without assistance. (Our friendship with Marilyn is part of what propelled Pam into starting her PT training in 2011 -- 11 years after finishing college.)

Here is Pam's blog post about her memories of Marilyn (Forget-Me-Not-Friday -- Institution Worthy?), written in March of 2012. You'll notice she used the same picture I did.

What does all this have to do with Ivey? While I don't know all of her medical details, just from looking at her picture and reading what little information is available to me, it seems to me that, with proper medical treatment, she could, in her own way, make the same positive impact on others that Marilyn did. She only has a couple of years for a family to find her before she "ages out," and becomes a permanent resident of a mental institution due to her physical limitations. 

I don't have accounts on Facebook, or Twitter, or any of those other "social media" sites, and not very many people read my little blog. It doesn't take a lot of people to make Ivey part of their family, though -- only one Mom and Dad. Could you, whoever you are that is reading this, be her her Mom or Dad? If not, do you have a relative, friend, or acquaintance who might be able to be that "special someone" that can help Ivey reach her full potential? Would you be willing to help her find a family by sharing her on your own social media accounts? (Or, if you have a blog -- write a blog post about her?)

Don't know anything about International Special Needs Adoption? No problem. The folks at Reece's Rainbow (RR) will be more than happy to help you! You should start with their "Adoption Process" page, and then move on to their "New Family Info" page before actually calling them.

You'll also find a whole host of other families who are going through, or have already been through the process [some more than once] who will be more than happy to encourage you.

If you check out the families listed on RR's "Progress" pages, you'll find that many of them have links to their blogs about their adoption journey. I find them fascinating reading:

• New Commitments
• Homestudy in Progress
• Compiling Dossier
• Almost There
• Travelling Now
• Already Home

Concerned about adopting an older child? Check out Christi M's "Parenting that Heals" blog. She and her husband, Mike, raised 4 boys -- and then went on to adopt four older girls. Christi has a lot of good information on her blog to help you understand the challenges of adopting children from trauma backgrounds (living in an institution is, in and of itself, a major trauma!!), and how to help your child work through that background to become a well-adjusted individual.

If you don't feel you are in a position to adopt Ivey, there are still things you can do:

1. Pray. Pray for Ivey, for her biological family (whoever and where ever they are), for her current caretakers, and for her adoptive family (whoever and where ever they are).
2. Donate to her Reece's Rainbow (RR) adoption fund. International adoption is expensive, but many small donations over time add up, and every little bit eases the financial burden for the family who adopts her. (You can donate online through the PayPal button at the bottom of her profile page, or, to save PayPal fees, you can mail a check to Reece's Rainbow, PO Box 4024, Gaithersburg, MD 20885. Be sure to let RR know that the donation is for Ivey,
3. Pray some more.
4. Share her need through whatever social media outlets are available to you.
5. Pray some more.

Thanks for "hearing me out," and for helping me find a family for Ivey!

Kathy

P. S. All of the children with arthrogryposis Pam mentioned in her 2012 blog post (linked to above) are now home with families, but there are others on Reece's Rainbow -- like Ivey -- who still need families!

Unfortunately . . .

Kristie

Chrystyna

Igor

Colin, and 

Leo

(all the children that used to be on my left side be, and who are still young enough to be adopted) . . .

. . . have this dreaded note at the end of their Reece's Rainbow profile:

This child is in a region that is currently not open to adoptions.  We are no longer able to accept new donations for this child.  The current grant funds will remain with this child until the unrest is resolved or the children become permanently unavailable for adoption.

At this point, all any of us can do for them is to pray for them, for their regions (and that their regions will open up again to International adoption), and for all the other children caught in this situation . . . children who, at this point, have zero chance for a family outside their home region . . . and their adoption in their home region is highly unlikely.

In spite of this, there are still many children who need a family to call their own. Check out the "Waiting Children" link at the top of the Reece's Rainbow home page.

Adoption Perspectives

Having two adopted nephews and an adopted granddaughter, I've been interested in adoption issues for a number of years.

Beth O'Malley, an adult adoptee, adoptive mother -- and foster care / adoption social worker, is the author of Adoption Lifebooks. I have found her monthly newsletters, which I've been receiving for I-don't-know-how-many years (since way before my granddaughter was born in 2011), inspiring and educational.

When I learned, in the late fall of 2010, that my oldest daughter was advocating for International Special Needs adoption (see "Pam's Sparrows" on the left sidebar), I became even more interested, and started following a lot of adoption blogs. All of these blogs are written from the perspective of the adoptive parent. As I've read, I've thought, "This is great -- but what about those who were adopted as children, and who are now adults? What is their take on all this? What advice would they have for those 'in the trenches' right now?"

There are scads of informational "how to . . ." books and articles out there, written by all kinds of adoption "experts" (some of whom seem to be writing from a strictly "theoretical" perspective with zero personal experience), but precious little (that I've seen) written by those who have actually walked the road of being adopted themselves, with all the challenges that brings, and who have now reached adulthood.

Recently, I've started stumbling on blogs written by adult adoptees. Here is one by Lynn Steinburg (A Decision to Search) that I found this morning. Lynn writes as a now-married adoptee who, with her husband, recently completed an international adoption themselves -- which gave Lynn the "push" she needed to actively pursue finding her own biological roots. (At the moment, she's only written "part 1"; I'm really looking forward to reading the rest of the story as she writes it.)

I'd like to include one other resource, for "whatever it's worth." Christi M, at Parenting that Heals, was not adopted herself, but she and her husband have adopted 4 older girls (after raising 4 boys). Christie speaks from the perspective of what seems to be really working with her girls, especially in helping them understand and deal with the hurts of the past, recognizing the reality of what they've been through, yet helping them to grow beyond their past without letting it define their future. I have read all of her posts, and have been blessed by them.

While no two situations are the same (as Lynn learned), it is my hope that these links will be beneficial to those who are raising adopted children, to those who are in the adoption process, to those who are contemplating adoption -- and even to those who know an adoptee (of any age), or who are just interested for whatever reason.